Best Self Help Tips from Ex-IRS Officer and Author Dr Awdhesh Singh
Dr Awdhesh Singh is a prolific writer who has written four best-selling books and hundreds of articles and answers related to self-improvement/ self-help, motivation, success, psychology etc. on various forums and websites. He is also an educator and life coach who has spoken on big platforms like TEDxFMS. He is a qualified engineer from prestigious Indian Institute of Technology Varanasi and an ex-Indian Revenue Services officer who has received ‘World Customs Organization Certificate of Merit-2011’ and ‘Presidential Award from Government of India-2015’. Dr Awdhesh Singh has more than 190k followers on quora.com because of his fabulous writing skills and lucid explanations to tricky questions and life problems. A person with a huge amount of knowledge and life experience, Dr Awdhesh Singh is a real source of inspiration for many people. In an interaction with GoodVitae, he has shared valuable self help tips for success via a question-answer session.
1. How do you define success?
“Success is about getting what you want and then enjoy what you have got. Most people are unsuccessful because they fail to get what they want. However, many people remain unsuccessful even after getting what they want because they fail to enjoy the fruit of their success. This happens because soon after people achieve something, they desire something else and this cycle goes on and on.“
It’s very important to set a life goal because that’s when you get a direction in your life and you will find the success when you achieve your goal. Also, it is necessary to find satisfaction in your goal because if your mind craves for different things with the passage of time then you will never find happiness or enjoy your success.
2. How to utilize positive and negative thinking rightfully?
“Positive thinking is like the green light on the crossing, which tells us when to move. Negative thinking is like the red light, which tells us when to stop. We need both types of thoughts for a smooth life.“
It’s very important to not give up, motivate yourself, and think positive when you are working to achieve some goal. But it is also important to understand your negative thinking as it tells you when to quit. So, you have to use both of them in a right manner as positive thinking helps you to keep going and negative thinking assist you in taking a right decision.
3. What do you think a young person should accept as early as possible?
“A young person should make himself responsible for his life as soon as possible. I have seen many people blaming their country, their parents and their society for their failures. It is childish behaviour when you expect others to fulfil your aspirations. If you are an adult, you make nobody responsible for your failures except yourself.“
It’s a very important self-improvement tip. Blaming and complaining makes you dependent on external conditions. You will never grow if you only focus on problems as real development happens when you find solutions. As Mark Twain has rightly said,”Don’t go around saying that the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.“
4. How should one overcome vacillating or wavering mindset?
“Find a clear-cut goal to stop the wavering mind. As long as your mind keep wavering on various things in life, you can’t focus on anything and you can’t achieve success in life. You must try to explore yourself to find the real you and the real goal of your life.“
Setting a goal can transform your life. Definite life goals can keep you focused as our mind is a goal-seeking machine. When you set a definite goal, your mind looks for resources and ways to achieve it. Thus, you don’t waver in different thoughts and change goals now and then.
5. Can you share ways to handle failures in life?
“The best way to handle failure is to be ready for failures. If you are planning only to win, it is much difficult to handle failures. You must also have your Plan B, Plan C ready beforehand, so that in case of failure of Plan A, you know what is to be done.“
You are bound to fail when you are working to achieve something. Thus, you must embrace your failures, learn from them, and evolve to not repeat them. Also, it is necessary to harness your negative thinking to prepare for the worst. Thus, failures are important and fruitful if you will learn from them.
6. How do you deal with procrastination and laziness?
“The best way to deal with laziness is to start immediately. When something is required to be done, I don’t wait for the next day or even for the next hour. I just start it and then I am soon in the thick of the things. Soon the work gets finished as well.“
One of the important aspects of self-improvement is overcoming procrastination and laziness. Suppose you want to study but procrastination is killing your will. Then as suggested by Dr Awdhesh Singh you must study immediately but sometimes your thoughts will try to stop you. Thus you can try this trick of focusing on the first twenty minutes of the task. Just think about the first twenty minutes of the task and work and still after it, if you don’t feel like studying then you can quit. But most of the time you get hooked up to the work.
7. Can you suggest ways to control emotions like anger, jealousy, fear, and anxiety?
“Prevention is always better than cure. It is always better to avoid all the causes that make you angry, jealous or anxious. You don’t get angry for no reason. Identify the reasons and develop a proper understanding of them. If you plan everything in advance, you would have no anxiety in your life. You can tackle fear by taking up more challenges in life. You can avoid jealousy by focusing on your strengths rather than on your shortcomings.”
It’s necessary to understand the working of your mind, it a very important aspect of self-help. Just analyse your thinking as a third person in different situations and you will know the triggers behind these emotions. As Eckhart Tolle once said, “Boredom, anger, sadness or fear are not ‘yours’, not personal. They are conditions of the human mind. They come and go. Nothing that comes and goes is you.“
8. Can you share a life quote you follow?
“I love this quote often attributed to Buddha, ‘Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.’“
9. Sometimes it’s better to quit. How should a person decide when to quit?
“It is good to work hard, persevere and not quite easy. However, if you keep doing the same thing, you are going to get the same results. If you believe that you have a better method to solve the problem and achieve your goal, you must try. When you have tried everything and still there is no improvement, it is better to quit and try something else.“
It’s a very valuable suggestion because many people lose patience and quit when things don’t work in the beginning.
10. Can you recommend some self-help books that you think can help anyone?
“There are many self help books that can help you succeed in life by developing a better understanding of the world. I would recommend:
1. ‘The Alchemist’ (Paulo Coelho),
2. ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ (Dale Carnegie)
3.‘Law of Success’ (Napoleon Hill) to start with.“
So what do you think? Did you learn something new? share your thoughts about these amazing self help tips in the comment section.